Full-Body Rollerblades

Description

Rollerblading on your feet is so 1994. This full-body roller suit allows the user to glide on their knees, their elbows, even their stomach. The patent’s stick figure illustrations demonstrate the infinite possibilities: crab walk rollerblading, side-crawl rollerblading, squat position rollerblading. “The object of the present invention is to propose a new sport involving skill and speed in which the user can move at high speed by rolling on the ground and/or any hard and smooth surface in all positions while constantly varying his 30 bearing points,” the 1999 patent reads. The suit did go into production: check out this video of the inventor, Jean-Yves “Rollerman” Blondeau, flying down a mountain road in full roller armor.

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Rowing Bicycle

Emily Matchar
Fitness buffs have been looking for a good full-body workout since Victorian times. This 1900 patent for a combo bicycle and rowing machine promises to “develop the muscles of the arms and body as well as those of the legs,” writes inventor Louis S.

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Office Exercise Kit

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These days, treadmill desks and under-table pedal exercises are de rigueur in offices. But this exercise kit goes even further, turning the whole office into a mini-gym. It consists of a T-shaped anchoring post and a number of stretchy bands, which can be attached to your office chair. Raise the bands while sitting to work your arms, or stand while holding the chair back for leg resistance exercises. “Many exercise devices are cumbersome and much larger than is convenient to relocate,” reads the 2006 patent. “Additionally, many individuals have the desire to exercise in easily accessible locations without the difficulty involved in obtaining various types of equipment.” Given the rise of home workouts during the pandemic and the shortage of exercise equipment, the idea doesn’t actually sound half bad.

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